SEPARATION ANXIETY: it’s normal, but isn’t easy.

SEPARATION ANXIETY: it’s normal, but isn’t easy.

“But you said you’d stay with me!” Kate demands with a strong voice and tears welling. “Don’t go, I don’t want you to go mom.” Kate’s mom lovingly explains to her that she is a big girl now, and mom will be back to pick her up very soon. Kate, a very expressive three year old explains to her mom, on her first day of school, “I hate this place, let’s go and just get out of here and never come back!” Been there before? How painful is this? Yes, it hurts you as a parent, and it does hurt for the child as well. But we must understand that separation anxiety is all part of a child's developmental process, it is normal and things will get better!

Separation anxiety is defined as fear that children experience when separated from a friend, parent, toy, or activity. Separation anxiety may occur when a child begins school. This could be triggered by an actual unpleasant incident at school, or related to how a child is dealing with a situation at home. Children often do not want to be separated from their parents when there is fighting at home, separation or divorce, one parent working out of town, or an illness in the family. Young children may perceive the situation as their fault and if they do separate from the one parent they may be abandoned altogether. Children's fear of separation ranges from mild to severe. A young child may be hugging their mom's neck or dad's leg quite adamantly with a few tears when saying goodbye this may be a pre-verbal child sending the simple message to his parents that he loves them and will miss them. These actions are the only means that he presently may have to express themselves. On the other hand, turning the corner to get to school could be very devastating to a child, much less getting out of the car and heading into their classroom.

Children need to feel unconditionally loved regardless of their age. They must be reassured by parents often that they are loved and you will return. If you have chosen a wonderful school for your child and feel certain that their anxiety is not related to anything the staff is doing or not doing then you should strongly encourage your child to return to school and not give in to their desperate pleas to avoid it. This is not to say that you should not be aware of what your child is feeling and that you should not deal with it. This must be dealt with right away or the fear will only worsen over time and create bigger problems for you and your child later in life. Parents may want to confront their child's teacher about the anxiety and get suggestions on how it should be addressed.

Kate's mom wanted to empower Kate by allowing her to make the decision of when it was okay for her to leave the classroom. Their family is happy and healthy, however, dad is a commuter, and they only see him on weekends. No offense to dad, because he is doing the best he can to be a strong provider for the family. However, this has created a fear of separation for Kate from Mom. This is not the end of the world, and that's what parents need to realize. It is only a stage that they are going through, and we need to be aware of their feelings, validate them, and follow through with what we say we are going to do.

When separation anxiety does occur…

•Identify the situation and what is causing the anxiety.

•Communicate with your child, (regardless of how young they are). Prepare them for what will happen next and what do you anticipate any time terms they understand. For example, if you want to keep them for when they will leave for school, tell them when the Blues Clues tape is over, not in five minutes, or at 8:30.

•Transition them with ease. Use songs to prompt them for bathtime, bedtime, or cleanup time. For example, Barneys cleanup song. They begin to understand this as a transition. They perceive it as my activity time has ended, it is now time to clean up, and prepare for something new.

•Validate their feelings of anxiety. Allow them to appropriately express their feelings and emotions. Hug them and explain to them that you do understand how they feel, and they will have a great time and you will return.

•Be careful NOT transfer your own fear. When telling a child goodbye, remember to do so with a great big smile on your face. If you have wet, teary, red eyes and look panicked when you tell them bye, you will definitely make your fears theirs.

By taking the steps to deal with your child’s separation anxiety, you are helping them learn to trust you and this fosters development of their self-esteem and trust in themselves and future relationships. Building a child’s self-esteem and reducing their anxiety and stress assists children in approaching others and new life experiences with less fear.

PRACTICAL POTTY TRAINING

PRACTICAL POTTY TRAINING

For some of you and your children, potty training was just another transitional stage completed with great ease. For others it’s, “Aghhhh!” Most children are developmentally ready to use the potty between the ages of two and three. Each child is a unique individual, and therefore could be ready before age 2, or sometime thereafter. According to Jan Faull, a child development specialist, females are often a developmental step ahead of males, consequently they are often potty trained somewhat earlier than males. Typically by age 3, almost all children should be able to control their bowels and bladder during daytime. For most children, staying dry throughout the night usually takes a few more years.

If your child is displaying interest in the bathroom, it may be a good time to begin encouraging using the potty. Look for other signs of readiness, such as understanding by your child that he or she has made pee-pee or poop, or whatever your preferable terms are. They should also be indicating to you that they would like their diaper changed when it is soiled. Experts suggest that a child can learn to prefer a clean diaper by being changed frequently when needed. In addition, you may notice that they move into a private corner of a room or behind a piece of furniture when preparing to relieve themselves. When these types of behaviors are observed, it is a good time to begin teaching your child what a toilet is for, how to use it properly, and appropriate hygiene. You may want to purchase your child their own potty chair. Allow your child opportunities to sit on it at various times in order to get a feel for it and to become comfortable. In a couple of weeks, you should begin suggesting that they sit on the potty chair when they begin displaying signs of needing to “go”. You may want to place the potty near their play area for their initial use, as this will avoid a negative feeling of isolation. If your child does not potty right away, encourage them to sit for about five minutes (possibly longer depending on the child) and allow them to engage in low-key activities such as looking through a book. In the meantime encourage them to potty, and give a ton of praise and rewards for their patience whether they have successfully pottied or not.

“Sinkems,” that’s right “sinkems!” These are colorful and very interesting disintegrating targets for children to potty on and then watch disappear. This type of reinforcer is a great way to get their interest and help facilitate the process of successful training. You also may want to offer an M&M or skittle after they have tried and/or succeeded at the potty. Earning stickers on a chart is a great way to help your child actually see their achievements, as the chart should be located in the bathroom, at the child's eye level so they can add their new sticker each time. When your child is able to communicate to you and they need to go, you may want to transition from pull ups to training pants, except during rest time. Children need continuous positive reinforcement during potty training to ensure success and avoid the possibility of regression.

Do your best to remain as positive as possible. Most research indicates that if a child is forced to use the potty before he or she displays developmental readiness, they may resist for quite some time. If your child is beyond age 3 and training is still unsuccessful, you should have them examined by your physician to determine if there is any medical concern. Pottying, like eating and sleeping are clearly control issues, and yes, your child has the control here! Your child will reach this developmental milestone in his or her own time, without too much pressure, and with a lot of positive reinforcement.

Take the problems out of potty training with these books:

•Keys to Toilet Training

•Potty Time

•Mommy I have to go to Potty!

•Once Upon a Potty

•Koko Bear’s New Potty

PLAY!

PLAY!

Have you ever asked a child what they are doing and they responded: “Just playing.” Well, I’m here to tell you that there is no such thing as “just” playing. Playing is incredibly significant at every age, especially in the successful development of a child.

“In play, a child is always above his average age, above his daily behavior; in play, it is as though he were a head taller than himself.” -Lev Vygotsky (1896-1934)

Vygotsky, a Russian educator and psychologist, set out early to solve the educational problems of his time. His Cultural-Historical Theory deemed that child development was clearly a result of the interactions between children and their social environment. Whether a child is interacting with his or her parents, siblings, teachers, or playmates, significant development is occurring. In addition to people, children form relationships with objects such as books, toys, sand, dirt, leaves and insects. Children use their interactions with people and objects to construct knowledge, skills, and attitudes.

.This summer take advantage of outside playtime with your children. Give your child the opportunity to create an imaginary situation by offering non-constructed props and modeling how to use them. For example, take the old bedsheets outside and assist in hanging them around low tree limbs or outside furniture to create a child's campsite. The catalyst for your child and play. Give them ideas and then take their lead. Engage with them, but don’t take over their make-believe situation. Vygotsky and others suggest that fostering make-believe play with preschoolers could provide the same support that formal instruction offers for older students.

The other evening we joined some friends at GB’s Restaurant uptown. There was still plenty of light in the sky at 6:30 and our friend's son, Peter (age 2 1/2), wanted to get out of his chair. He pleaded with us to go for a walk outside to “build”. We knew there were no Legos, no sand, and no playground. We were unsure of what he wanted exactly. Behind this restaurant is a large parking area with lots of gray rocks. He sat down comfortably, peered up at me, and frankly asked, “Beverly, do you want to build buildings with me too?” Here we were sitting in a parking lot, were we, the adults, only saw it as rocks. Here he was in a vast land of “building” rocks basking in the joy of creating! Allowing ourselves to see through their eyes will help them gain developmentally. Children will naturally go to great lengths to understand their world, working in concert with the interactions of parents, teachers, and objects.

As Vygotsky said, “A child's greatest achievements are possible and play, achievements that tomorrow will become his or her basic level of real action.”

GRATITUDE

GRATITUDE

Often we realize the holiday season is approaching rapidly. It's the first week of December and we are in shock. Wham! Out of nowhere Halloween has come and gone, and now we need to make a list, check it twice, three times, and once more for the upcoming holidays. Take a deep breath, sit back, and as you organize your busy November and December calendars, take a moment to reflect on all you are and all you have, and take and how grateful you feel.

This holiday season I'd like to encourage you to focus on real joy. This kind of joy comes from deep within you. Real joy is a lot more than happiness. Feeling happy is awesome, don't get me wrong. But happiness often comes with the success of losing weight, buying a car, falling in love. Sustained joy is true peace for you and your family, a feeling without worrying without fear. As we make it through the long workdays and shopping filled nights, remember to take quiet moments for yourself and your children. During these baths or sitting times, use deep breathing and reflect on everything that went well that day, and how very thankful you feel. Even in the midst of the worst case scenarios, arguments, job losses, illnesses – you can still find something to be grateful for and then you no longer feel alone or victimized. We have a choice to be grateful no matter what the situation or what the problem. It is our responsibility to empower our children, as well, to make such choices. It's true that we cannot control every situation in our lives, but we can control how we respond to them. By finding something to be grateful for in the middle of turmoil, (remaining strong in the midst of the storm), we will feel better and be more likely to make our way through, clearly and successfully.

Gratitude journals have recently become quite common. Whether you review what you were thankful for in your head, or if you choose to write down five things a day that you were thankful for, it will change the way you see the world. It is true that our dominant thoughts become a reality. Don't wait for things to happen in your life, you need to happen to your life. Direct your life by being grateful for everything you have. It is so easy for us to compare ourselves to those who have more than us, bigger houses, better cars, but take a moment to compare yourself to those less fortunate than you. This alone will fill your heart with overwhelming gratitude, and a desire to help those in need.

Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of 365 Ways to Give Thanks, suggest a daily exercise called Naikan. At the end of the day consider three questions:

1. What did I receive today? (wonderful tasting bagel, a kiss from my daughter, a beautiful skyline)

2. What did I give today? (a kind word, a smile, a spot in front of me in traffic)

3. What trouble or pain did I cause today? (this allows reflection on how we treated others and not necessarily all about me, me, me)

These questions are great to pose to your children during dinner time. If nothing else, play a quick game of “What was the very best part of your day?” Go around the table and allow everyone a chance to answer. Within the preschools we have DEAR time, Drop Everything and Read. This is an opportunity for all children and teachers to finish up what they are doing, select a book, and spend time valuing the reading process. Well, the same can be done with your gratitude journals. Everyone at school and home can have some DEAW time, when they Drop Everything and Write. Younger children can use this time to draw what they are most thankful for.

So, as you make your way through this wonderful time of year, remember to take time to light a candle, smell the spruce trees, and look into your children's eyes, and say thank you. Keeping Christ in your holidays is easy with a grateful attitude.

In the words of the 13th century German mystic Meister Eckhart: “If the only prayer you ever say is… thank you, it will be enough!”

Two great gift ideas, which encourage attitude and gratitude: Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort and Joy and 365 Ways to Give Thanks!

GETTING IT TOGETHER FOR THE NEW YEAR

GETTING IT TOGETHER FOR THE NEW YEAR

Underneath all of their new gifts, wrapping paper, and miles of ribbon is the floor in their bedrooms. There is no more room in their closets or on their shelves. Christmas was fun, cold, and quite memorable, now it's time to pick up and clean up so, how do you get your children to participate in this massive organizational task?

Your child's age and developmental level are certainly factors to consider when deciding on an appropriate and effective approach it is important for you to remember that screaming your head off won't get you very far. Approach this task like a meticulous engineer. Begin with a general plan and break it into individual smaller tasks. Your child will find these smaller tasks more approachable. As adults we often tackle problems in our own lives the same way. Initially when we're faced with the whole and only see the “whole” picture, we become fearful and intimidated by the monster. But when we take time to develop a plan, with individual steps, the problem does not appear as big. Instead it appears more manageable and we are able to approach it with more confidence and ease. By appearing more doable, the task is likely to be conquered faster, more successfully, and with less stress. This is how we need to organize the projects for children. For younger children it is best for you to decide on the plan and explain it to them. With children of ages 4 1/2 and up, get them in on a basic design of the organized approach to cleaning up and managing their room for the new year. There are so many types of inexpensive bins in stock containers that you can purchase to assist your child in their quest and actually make it fun.

Sorting and discarding items your child has grown out of it so important. If you want to hang onto them as keepsakes for a younger sibling, do so. Carefully box, label, and store them in an attic or storage area to allow for more space in your child's closet and on their shelves for new times which have now taken on significant roles in their lives. For those items that have clearly lost their necessity, clean, box, and deliver them to the nearest Goodwill or donation drop off Center, with your child. Children need to learn at an early age, that although an item may no longer be of interest to them, it could mean the world to a child in need.

Once your child has completed this project, celebrate to reinforce such a great job they have done! Remind your child of how great the room looks and how easily they can find things they are looking for. You may want to do this cleanup/organization project every quarter, or at least every six months, in order to simplify things as you all embrace the new year.

Parent Tips: by Annetta Miller

•Break the cleanup into individual tasks: It makes the toughest job seem less daunting.

•Become a clutter consultant: Offer to organize homework or buy plastic bins for c.d.’s.

•Lighten up: Don't let a messy bed come between you and your child. You're not trying to raise Martha Stewart, just a happy kid!

ENTERTAINING YOUR CHILD DURING ENDLESS WAITING

ENTERTAINING YOUR CHILD DURING ENDLESS WAITING

There she is in a crowded public office waiting her turn. You notice that her child has a ton of energy and only wants to run about and around for as long as possible. You observe the elderly lady to your left peering at her in such a disapproving manner. The gentleman sitting to her right just keeps rolling his eyes at the bothersome child that won’t sit still. Mom has tried just about every trick in the book to keep this toddler calm and content during their waiting period. She now has a bead of sweat running down the side of her face, as she surrenders herself to her two and a half year old and his high spirited energetic self.

We’ve all seen it, and if not, we’ve all been there. Kids are kids! They are not going to tune themselves down because they are in any type of office that is deemed for adult activity and behavior only. This type of setting gives them even more reason to want to shake up the joint. So what are Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, or sitter supposed to do? The following are wonderful quick ideas which will help in a lot of these situations. I have listed some awesome quick tricks that our teachers use for transitions in our schools as well as Vicky Mlyniec’s suggestions in her last article for Parents Magazine.

• Snag some supplies.

  • If you don’t have something to draw on at a restaurant, ask the waiter to bring over some paper placemats or extra napkins. Most are offering paper table cloths and plenty of crayons!

• Pose a question.

  • Have your child respond with words starting with their initials.

  • For example: “What do you like to do Michael John?” “Make jam!”

• Play hangman.

  • For your youngest, tell them a three letter word, write out the dashes, then ask him what the letters might be. (Giving clues may help them feel less frustrated).

• Writing.

  • Use a pen or pencil to show your child how their name looks in cursive writing.

• Hiding a coin in your hand.

  • Have your child guess which hand it’s in. Then allow them a turn.

• I spy.

  • Say, “I spy something green” or “I spy something that begins with the letter T.” For a younger child, ask him to follow your eyes to something you are spying and guess what it is.

• Snack food.

  • This can become your own little color and math lesson all in one! Bag up some gummy bears and have your child name the color before getting to have on. Then try putting two on your lap and adding another. Ask your child how many there are in total.

• I went on a trip and brought…

  • You say this to your child and fill in with your answer, and then they have to continue with yours and theirs. For example, “I went on a trip and brought my tooth brush. I went on a trip and brought my toothbrush and my pajamas.” Continue for as long as they can, and then let them start the next one.

• Finger plays are fun.

  • Itsy Bitsy Spider, Little Bunny Foo-foo, and my all time favorite, “All Around the Garden like a Teddy Bear” one step, two step tickle under there!

CHILD ABDUCTION... A PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE

CHILD ABDUCTION... A PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE

Now, more than ever, turning on the news is a frightening experience. The thought of yet one more child being abducted and not found, or found and murdered is beyond sickening. Every parent has experienced this helpless feeling in the pit of his / her stomach. As adults, we need to be knowledgeable and educate our children in the same way. Teaching your child what to do if they are in serious trouble should be effective, but not scary to them. They hear things, they know about the latest abductions, and they should. Children are more frightened by their parents’ silence than by their instructions on handling a threatening situation.

Sheltering children from harmful situations is certainly a parent’s responsibility, however, we often find we have over protected our children or instilled in them an unnecessary fear. What experts are suggesting parents do is allow your child the independence they have earned through maturity, and teach them to take responsibility for their own safety and well being.

Your job as a parent is to encourage your child to think independently, (which begins around age two), and learn to think for themselves and use their gut instincts in any situation that feels uncomfortable This gut instinct is so incredibly important. It is the same reaction adults have when we are being approached by a “stranger” and a funny, squeamish feeling turns our stomach. This is what’s called our inner alarm. We listen to it and react. This is what we want our children to begin to identify on their own and then react, and react fast.

In his new book, The Safe Child, Richard C. Gossage states that the issue of child safety is very frightening for adults. As a result, they tend to transmit fear to their children. Child safety and street proofing are about giving your children the confidence to know that they can eventually look after themselves when they are not in your care.

It’s important to teach children that things are not always what they seem to be. Although most people have good intentions, there might be some that give them that funny, awkward feeling inside. Teach your child to remove themselves from the situation and immediately run to an adult. Recently on America’s Most Wanted, they featured several techniques to teach your child for various situations:

•The Grab - If someone grabs them, teach them to rotate their arm fast (like a windmill) and hard in order to force a release and flee.

•The Car Lure - When a stranger rides alongside them slowly in a car attempting to get them to come near the window, teach them to run in the other direction that the car is faced. If a child is taken into a car, explain to them the importance of attracting attention and/or getting out of the situation as quickly as possible. Blow the horn, stomp on the gas pedal, or try to body slam the driver.

•The Bike Ride - If a stranger approaches them while they are riding a bike and grabs them, explain and demonstrate to them to not let go of the bike. A stranger will have a much more difficult time getting a child and a bike into a car.

•The Trunk - Teach your child where the brake lights are in a trunk, and if needed they can pull back the material cover and yank at the wires.

In all of these cases, explain to your child the need to scream for help and to struggle.

All of these techniques and discussions about abductions with your child can be presented as “If you get into trouble…” For more information regarding this featured broadcast go to AMW.com.

Again, it is the silence that scares children, not the discussions of situations and techniques to remain safe.

PRE-SCHOOL POSITIVES

PRE-SCHOOL POSITIVES

With so much research out now, the debate of whether or not pre-school is beneficial to a child is losing steam. There is no doubt that a child completely benefits from the unique love and care of his or her own mother, but when it comes time to give a child additional social and learning opportunities, pre-school experience has proven to be a definite plus!  There are a few who consider any type of learning experience outside of the home, prior to Kindergarten, as taboo. But the latest research has proven over and over again that pre-school is a true necessity.

Children are constantly seeking out new stimulating people, objects, and information. It is up to parents to ensure that their children have the experiences of exploring new learning environments.  Most scientists have determined what children learn between infancy and Kindergarten (5 years of age), is the foundation for the rest of their emotional and intellectual development. Many children today are attending pre-school programs on a full time basis due to their parent’s demanding work schedules. However, if a parent is able to keep a child home the majority of the time it is not necessary to enroll them on a full time basis for them to get the same opportunities in a part time pre-school program. What is important is that all children are given the opportunity for social and

intellectual development and enhancement by others outside of the home. In December 2000, my article, “Choosing the Best Child Care,” lists the many options of child care that are available today.  For instance some programs offer a two, three, or four day program, and even half days. As for what’s best for you, that depends on your and your child’s individual needs, taking into consideration their age, developmental level, your scheduling needs, and your financial situation.

According to Anna Quindlen’s report in February’s Newsweek, “Building Blocks for Every Kid,” there is strong evidence for the benefits of existing good pre-school programs that provide developmentally appropriate play and stimulation for toddlers and infants. There were several studies conducted of adults who attended the High / Scope Perry Pre-School Project in Michigan. It was determined that the children benefited from their pre-school experience because they felt more confident and independent, had a higher self esteem and were therefore less likely to get in trouble with the law. Keep in mind that with any environment you offer your child, it should be safe, loving, nurturing, and educationally stimulating.  With state assistant programs and a movement across the nation of the awareness of the significance and imperatives of a pre-school experience, all children should have the opportunity for a strong pre-academic foundation to be laid.

Beverly McQuaid

CHOOSING THE BEST CHILD CARE

CHOOSING THE BEST CHILD CARE

Parents often want to know how to select the best child care facility for their child. Some options include Mother’s Day Out, Pre-School, and Montessori programs, so what does it all mean? There are centers which offer strictly day care, which is often similar to a nurturing baby sitting service. There are others who define themselves as pre-schools offering a combination of child care and pre-academic classes for 4 and 5 year olds. There are also those that offer a combination of day care and pre-school set within the Montessori concept. Some programs offer half day and full day options, as well as 2-3 days per week, or full time. What you will find is that choosing the best child care program for your child is truly in the eyes and needs of the beholder.

Like anything else in life, it is important to understand what you and your spouse are looking for in a program. Preliminary discussions and planning can save you a lot of time before hitting the pavement to do your own observations. For instance, identify what area of the city is near your home or office. Next, you will want to consider what your specific needs are based on the age of your child. Again, planning early is very important. Most high quality programs in any city are going to fill up quickly. Therefore, if your child is turning one and you feel that possibly around age two you may want to send he or she to a pre-school, you should begin investigating at least

12 months in advance. If you wait until your child is two and want to send them immediately, there will be options; however, in order to feel that you have done your homework, successfully interviewing centers thoroughly ahead of time is the best. You may need a center with extended hours, such as 6:30am-6:00pm, or you may feel strongly that your child is in a setting for only three hours per day, two days per week, to match your new part time work schedule. Prices vary within child care centers, and you will want to know what type of budget you are working with before you get started.

When initially interviewing schools over the phone, and then in person, remember the most expensive is not always indicative of the best. Whatever specifics you are looking for identify ahead of time to narrow your search. Put pencil to paper and understand your needs, begin making phone calls and thorough notes, and then hit the streets. I usually advise parents to visit initially without their children and then always bring their children back for a second, and third visit if they desire. If you walk into a place where you are clearly uncomfortable, it is a lot easier to make your exit without your child wanting to play where you feel is unclean and unsafe.

Once you have made a preliminary visit and are comfortable and satisfied, by all means bring your child back with you so that you can see if they are comfortable and feel free to engage within this new setting. When visiting a child care center, the best tools to use to determine if it is what you are looking for are your 5 senses and gut feel. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What is there for the children to touch? What is available at snack and lunch for the children to eat? What is your gut feel when you enter the facility, while you are there and when you leave? If you are not taking physical notes, make mental notes and reflect on these when you get home. It is truly important for you to visit a center more then once. Dropping in unannounced is a great way to get an honest feel of a center, however, if you do drop in at lunch time, or nap time, just be prepared to see these types of activities. If this is not what you wanted to observe, then inquire about their daily schedules and make another drop in visit. If you prefer to get a guided tour, and a meeting with the Director, you will most likely have to schedule this ahead of time. Regardless of what information you do need, you and your child are the customer and should both feel wonderful about your final choice for child care.

Remember that if by chance you make a choice that you eventually feel was made in error, don’t feel that it is the end of the world. Sometimes we are not truly aware of aspects of a business until we have been involved with them for quite a while. If after a certain amount of time you are dissatisfied and no one has been able to remedy your situation, then continue your search. You may be out a mere registration fee, but there may be a better option out there for you and your child. The pre-school experience is an extremely important one, and where they are for those first 2-4 years has quite a bearing on how they view themselves and who they become. It should and can be a rewarding experience for the parent and the child.

BACK TO SCHOOL FEATURE

BACK TO SCHOOL FEATURE

Once the stores begin echoing their “Back to School” ads, we know that the new school year is growing near. It is a wonderful time of year which offers all of us a fresh start with changes in routines, teachers, and classrooms, as well as new clothes, school bags, and supplies! The new school year does not have to equal new anxiety and new stress.

Remember that being prepared and helping our children become prepared and to know what to expect is half the battle. Young children always look to their parents for cues when changes in routine occur. You should try to maintain a good, positive attitude, and be as organized as possible.

Three helpful hints for getting the new school year off with ease:

Practice. Re-adjust your and your children’s summer time schedules by making small changes in going to bed and waking earlier. Try to get as much done with your child for the next day prior to going to sleep. Practice planning ahead and being organized. Children learn what is modeled to them, so model organization and preparedness at every age. Things will come up, but for the most part you will have a finely tuned routine to start the new school year off just right!

Visit ahead of time. Prior to your child’s first day of school, try to get him familiar with his new setting. Visit his classroom and “hang out” for a while, this will ease the transition greatly. Your child may choose to bring something to school that offers comfort when he is feeling insecure. Check with your child’s teacher and send something that helps him feel connected to home, and gives him that extra nurturing he needs until he sees you at the end of the day.

Make a date. Find a child or a small group of children who will be in your child’s class and get together for a back to school party. Even if it is a small play group and snow balls after, this will help your children feel bonded to someone, and again ease their transitional stage.

Embrace this new school year with your child!

BRIGHT BABY

BRIGHT BABY

For all of you excited expectant Moms, like myself, who are sifting and reading through tons of baby magazines and journals to get as much information as possible, I’ve got some ideal suggestions for you!

Confirming the latest research again, Dr. Roni Leiderman makes it quite clear that “Your baby is born ready to learn, and how much your baby learns depends on you.” No pressure here! Dr. Leiderman has identified in her studies that a baby’s brain is fully developed at birth, but what will change is it’s actual structure. The structure of your child’s brain will change based on his or her experiences. Through her studies, she has determined that babies who were not exposed to various stimulating experiences, within their first 18 months of life, had brains approximately 20-30% smaller than those who had such experiences. The latest research on babies brains has proven that proper stimulation during your child’s first three years enhances brain development and the likelihood of their brain reaching it’s fullest potential. Dr. Leiderman and leading researchers suggest the following ways to help our babies achieve:

• From the moment your baby is born; hold, rock, talk to, and play with him lovingly and often.

• Whether your child is at home, in child care, or at a friend or family member’s home make sure that she is safe, lovingly nurtured, and stimulated.

• Assist your baby in exploring his or her interests. He may show interest in a particular object nearby and want to hold it.

• During your child’s very significant first year of life, carry on babbling conversations, in which he or she is explaining the world to you as he or she sees it.

• Play music and sing to your baby often. Classical music and repetitive soothing lullabies are found to be especially stimulating and comforting to most babies.

• Cue into your child’s developmental level as she learns during those first three years. Understand which games, books, and type of play is most appropriate for her, so that she does not become frustrated from something too advanced or from something below her skill level. During the second and third year, your child will continue to enjoy books, music, and especially conversations with you!

• Children learn through play. Give them lots of opportunities for play and discovery, which will in turn become a stimulant and nurturer of the brain like no other. Provide your child with props, such as building blocks, leggos, and farm animals and witness his imagination soar.

• Your child needs opportunities to play with others to develop socially. Children learn to develop strategies which assist them in forming friendships, as well as dealing with unfair situations.

Stimulating your child with all of these suggestions, especially during the first three years is without a doubt one of the most important things you can do for him or her. Just remember one more thing. . . without confusing you any further on what to do and what not to do, I want to share with you that I have also discovered research that reminds parents not to be concerned if your child gets bored once in a while. By just hanging out sometimes she begins to discover the little lady bug crawling along the patio and it’s vibrant red color. She will begin to discover that the leaves make natural music when the wind combs the tree’s branches. They begin to discover life on their own and in magnificently beautiful ways.